when we forget to say 'thank you'
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: After all these years, Subaru meets with the girl that he had let borrow his handkerchief (in the Save arc of TB).


Disclaimer: Clamp owns Tokyo Babylon and X.  
(I keep on forgetting to say all these poems are mine. ^^;;;)  
  
  
Many years pass, and I want to stay as I am.  
Many more pass, and I know I must change.  
  
Did you know it was because of you?  
How does kindness fall like wheat  
And becomes no more?  
Please tell me why your heart  
Has closed…  
  
  
When we forget to say 'thank you'.  
By Miyamoto Yui  
  
  
"Bye bye Sensei!" the girls giggled as they ran away from me. I smiled as I lifted up my hand to say the same.   
"See you tomorrow!" I called behind them.   
"Of course, Sensei!" they answered as they smiled at me while their bodies became smaller and smaller down the hallway.  
  
I went into my room to gather my belongings and filed the papers in front of me.   
"How do I correct this all tonight?" I wondered aloud.  
  
Then, I looked towards the window.   
"This is nothing," I whispered to myself.  
  
After putting my things into my bag, I left.  
  
This is nothing…  
It is easier that it was before.  
  
As the students bowed to me in respect, we went our separate ways.   
And yet again, as I turned around to look at familiar clock of the school, I wondered how he was doing.   
It wasn't something that randomly popped into my head.   
  
I thought of this boy often.  
  
I laughed as I walked out of the entrance of the school.   
Oh, he wasn't a boy now. He should be how old? Just a few years younger than I was.  
  
But he was beyond my reach for a while.   
With all his strength.  
  
  
When I got home, I took my shoes off and put my bag to one side. I then pressed the button of the answering machine and smiled. I hoped that it was a real message that blinked back at me and not a solicitor.  
  
At least…  
It wasn't to tell me something unpleasant…  
As those girls used to do.  
  
But I'm beyond that now.  
  
Click.  
"Hey you!" the message had recorded, "Are you free tonight? Let's go eat out or something? Call me back."  
  
I laughed. I called back immediately and said that I didn't feel like eating out. And that was that.  
  
"Chiharu's so sweet like that," I commented to myself as I changed to leave once again.  
  
He was a great friend, but I didn't like him in that way. And there was no way that I could possibly tell him that.  
  
I put on my shoes again and left for the night.  
  
  
I walked around the city with my hands in my warm, long, overcoat. Looking around, I had wondered why I had gone out when I had so much to do. And let's not forget that fact that I was really tired after staying up last night trying to make a lesson which involved a very hard activity to do with a group of high school students.  
But it had been worth it in the end.  
  
I don't know why I had always been like this. Going out when I felt that I should, for no particular reason.  
  
And whenever I see the girls' seifuku, I thought about myself in their shoes.  
When I wore that same uniform…  
  
Looking up to the dim sky and standing still for a moment, I sighed.  
  
What would you say to me now?   
I had finally faced myself, and I wanted to show you….  
  
Then, I resumed walking and looking around at the busy streets and the crowds of people that made this city of Tokyo feel as if it had never slept a wink. Moaning on in tiredness, but with a brightness that seemed never-ending.  
  
The countless times I had contemplated on how our next meeting would be. Where and when?  
Maybe by chance once again.  
  
I wanted to show you how far I've come because of your kindness to me.  
To make you proud and show you how proud I was of myself.  
  
I felt the object in my pocket. The familiar warmth that emanated from its very softness.  
It was the root of everything…  
  
I felt my face. And at that moment, as I passed some store, I looked at the window and stared at my lonely reflection with my scar as my reminder.  
  
In that same instant, I saw a profile next to my own.   
  
The eye…  
One eye…  
  
Opening my eyes, I felt like everything was in slow motion as I reached out to grab the person's shoulder.   
"Sumimasen!" I politely excused myself. "Sumimasen!"  
  
The man turned around unamused. But as he looked at me, his dull eye held some kind of remembrance of me.  
  
I just couldn't let go of his shoulder.  
But he looked at my hand and I took it away.  
  
Why are you so cold?  
  
"I'm sorry to bother you," I apologized as I bowed awkwardly as people passed by with strange stares towards our direction.  
  
"…" He just looked at me with a blank face once more.  
  
"But are you Sumeragi Subaru-san?" My hands folded upon one another as they had the first time I had told him about my pain that I couldn't tell anyone else at the time.  
  
He looked at me for a moment.  
I couldn't read his face. Not like before.  
  
Not like the smile he would give or his hesitation in speech.  
  
This man was someone different now.  
  
"Who are you?" he politely asked back, but with a monotone voice.  
  
I blinked my eyes as my heart hurt.  
I was the same as I was in high school whenever I came home and tried not to show those girls that I was a weakling when they smashed my body into little pieces.  
I didn't know if I was mad for him for forgetting me, or had I been this stupid for stopping a stranger.  
So many mixed emotions came, but with one redemption.  
  
I had nothing to say in my defense.  
  
Without hesitation, I looked at the same gloves he had on. And I slipped my hands with courage into my pockets.  
Thinking not of the consequences, I reached out and took his hand between my own two. I looked at him with tears in my eyes that didn't seem to want to come out.  
  
"I wanted to give back your handkerchief, Subaru-san," I said as I trembled and squeezed his gloved hands. "I even kept it ironed like your sister had given it to you."  
  
His eyes opened a bit.  
  
I tilted my head. "I wanted to say thank you for saving my life, Subaru-san."  
Still looking straight into his one green eye, "I had wanted to say you made me stronger because I had met you."  
  
Trying his best, he tried to smile at me…  
But had failed.  
  
I smiled wistfully at his attempt. Letting go, I felt my heartbeat die down.  
  
Shaking my head, I said, "You don't remember me, don't you?"  
  
He just blinked at me and glanced one way in shame.  
I still didn't know if he had remembered.  
  
"I thought you remembered everyone," I blurted out. "That's what you had told me once. Even if you couldn't understand their pain, you treasured them with their burdens."  
  
What had happened to that vibrant face so full of life?  
Where had the Subaru that I had known gone?  
  
I shook my head in frustration. "I don't know what has happened to you, but I just wanted you to know that I'm glad I met you."  
  
Taking his hands again, I squeezed them with all the love and care I could…  
As he had given me through the handkerchief.  
  
"Hashimoto-sensei!" someone called from across the street.  
  
I looked at some of my students and bowed my head. Then, I looked up at Subaru-san in front of me as his mouth opened slightly.  
  
I finally let go.  
"I'll leave you alone now. I'm sorry to have troubled you."  
  
Turning around, I walked away from him with head up high.  
  
I wondered what had happened to Subaru-san…  
  
  
  
Days later, when I came back from a tiring, yet okay day at school, I took off my shoes.  
I pressed the button to see what my messages were.  
  
"Message 1:  
Hello again! It's Chiharu! How about going to the bookstore today? Your favorite book is out. Okay, talk to you later."  
  
"Message 2."  
  
There was a slight pause, and then someone said, "I forgot to say thank you for giving me back the handkerchief. I looked forward to meeting you again."  
  
Pause again.  
  
"And, you're welcome."  
  
  
I looked at the answering machine in shock as I blinked my eyes trying not to cry. I had failed and stood there for a while.  
  
Wiping my tears away, I pressed for the messages to be played once more.  
I called Chiharu back that it would be nice to go to the bookstore today.  
  
  
  
I don't know what has happened to you Subaru…  
I wonder what kind of cruelty would hurt you so much…  
But I hope you will learn to move on too.  
  
  
As I was leaving once again, I took one last glance at the answering machine.  
The little red dot was blinking back at me.  
  
I smiled with melancholy as I locked the door.  
  
I will save that too, Subaru-san…  
  
  
  
--  
Author's note: ;_; How many times do I have to cry for Tokyo Babylon? Apparently not enough. I thought that this concept would be good so I wrote it. I got back to reading my manga again.  
So, happy thanksgiving and this is my way of saying thank you for always reading my humble fics.  
  
And I dedicated this to you…  
Even though you don't know I am… 


End file.
